Is there some sort of evil cat spirit buried beneath our house?

Well, as posted previously, if I owned a gun, which I don't and probably never will and would never ever shoot anything that wasn't a threat to me or my family, but yet my idle threat still convinces me that our cats should have some home schooling provided by Sarah, who as you know specializes in teaching the handicapped. There is nothing like going into the kitchen first thing in the morning and seeing your 13 yr old cat (Marie) peeing on the floor. She is rather inconspicuous when she does it, usually peeing on some object ( a plastic bag, which was the case today, shoes, rugs, etc ) Now, although I felt like kicking the cat across the floor, my nature just doesn't allow me to do that, although, man, I surely thought about it. But here was my dilema... Do you smack the cat while it is peeing, possibly causing it to pee all over the place while fleeing? I thought about picking her up and putting her on the porch, yet, again, pee flying randomly while hauling the cat possibly getting on me in the process ( I was already dressed for work ).. I did try yelling when I determined that, yes, she was peeing on the floor. Anyway, by the time it was all said and done, she ran out of the kitchen with me in pursuit and then under Peri's bed. That cat knew she had done something wrong, and that just adds to the fury of this incident. I can shake the bottom of the bed (sorry Peri if I woke you up) and Marie will run out, usually to the front door, but today she stopped short of the door, apparently knowing it is freezing outside. I picked her up and gave her a "gentle" swat, so as to not have any allegations of pet abuse. She was then "gently" placed outside for a little while. So, it was back to clean up the puddle she had left in the kitchen, silently cursing the day she all of a sudden decided that instead of using either of the 2 litter boxes we have in the house downstairs, to blatantly just pee on the floor upstairs. We might have to put a litter box upstairs, because apparently the evil cat spirit that is aforementioned in this title resides in the basement and only haunts our old cat as the other cats go down there all the time. Marie, rarely if ever goes down there. Man, how long do cats live? Anyway, that is my wonderful morning that I thought I would share with you and hope you all are having a wonderful day. Love and kindness to all!